what to do when you feel life is pointless

Do y'all ever feel purposeless, like y'all're not sure what's the whole betoken of life? Practise you experience like you have a pointless life? I go it. I've been there. When life feels pointless, it'south hard to keep getting upwardly every morning to go through the motions.

Some days we blame our pointless life on our stupid jobs, or our bills, or our flagging relationships. But when nosotros change our circumstances and however stop up feeling like something'due south missing in life, that's when it starts to get weird.

I woke up many mornings feeling that my life is pointless. This strange feeling of purposeless.

What if the problem is with ME, not with my circumstances?

Ah, yes — this is possibly the most emotionally mature idea that tin can ever spark in your encephalon. It isn't an like shooting fish in a barrel thought, simply it's the equivalent of downing a shot of wheatgrass. Healthy, just not so pleasant.

Peradventure the problem is with you lot. Maybe you're making yourself miserable by buying into some of the near mutual misbeliefs that brand us feel like life is pointless. I'll talk about them in this article, and also nigh what to do when life feels pointless — but first, let me share a short personal story.

Afterwards all, if you're downing some psychological wheatgrass, we might besides practice information technology together.?

My Misbelief Story: Why Does My Life Feel Pointless?

In 2017 I went through major depressive disorder. For several months, I cried randomly, ate too much, and got very piffling done. Life seemed absolutely pointless. "Why does life feel pointless," I wondered. My emotions were so out of whack that I couldn't imagine a reason why I shouldn't opt out of life.

But I didn't. I got help.

The very first book that I read in my recovery procedure was a book on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) called Telling Yourself the Truth: Find Your Way Out of Depression, Anxiety, Fear, Acrimony, and Other Common Problems by Applying the Principles of Misbelief Therapy.

I know, information technology's a super long title. Only it was my textbook for overcoming depression, and it still shines on my bookshelf as i of the almost influential and impactful books I've ever read. Annotation the phrase, "misbelief therapy."

The core idea in the book is that our thoughts produce feelings, even faulty thoughts called "misbeliefs." When we purchase into misbeliefs, these untrue thoughts make the states feel miserable. Nosotros start feeling like life is pointless. Like running malware instead of software, one time the plan is running in the brain, it volition do its emotional impairment. That's why CBT — the process of intentionally weeding out misbeliefs — is an extremely mutual intervention in depression.

Well, information technology worked wonders for me, to summarize a long procedure.

In that location's a phrase the authors used in the volume that stuck with me. Ane of the capacity was entitled, "Misbeliefs Guaranteed to Brand You Miserable." To use another tech metaphor, "garbage in, garbage out." It's actually anticipated. Certain misbeliefs are guaranteed to make us miserable and depressed.

I started thinking about our bulldoze for purpose, passion, and significant in life.

Are in that location predictable misbeliefs that we unwittingly utilize to self-demolition ourselves into feeling that everything is pointless?

Over the last 7 years of living abroad and studying man cultures (click here to detect out more about me and what I do), I've observed a lot of roadblocks to significant and purpose. Most of them are related to faulty thinking! And then without farther ado, hither are 8 misbeliefs guaranteed to make you feel like life is pointless. If yous ever woke upwards saying "I experience like life is pointless," this commodity is for you.

Misbelief 1: Living with Purpose Will Brand Me Experience Happy.

Happiness and purpose are non the same thing. Researchers differentiate between the two by giving them different names: hedonic well-being (happiness) and eudaemonic well-being (a sense of purpose and meaning).

Although these ii types of well-being are related, there does not seem to be evidence that one causes the other. Lots of people who accept pursued meaningful goals and passions have been quite unhappy. Just recollect of Greg Mortenson, author of Three Cups of Tea, who congenital 55 schools in ten years for underprivileged Pakistani girls. The corporeality of difficulties he encountered from the Taliban and others unfriendly to his crusade reminds usa that following our purpose can frequently be uncomfortable, unpleasant, and frustrating.

Sorry to break the news to you lot, merely finding your purpose might not make you happy.

Having a loftier level of eudaemonic well-beingness is proven to give enormous health benefits, longer life, and protection against Alzheimer's Affliction — but I've never come up across any research that scientifically correlates levels of eudaemonic well-existence with levels of hedonic well-being or happiness (if you know of whatever such enquiry, feel gratuitous to leave a link in the comments below).

The truth is, having a strong sense of purpose in life is ultimately more satisfying than hedonic pleasures. Just take care not to misfile the two. The misbelief hither is expecting to find happiness from pursuing your purpose, and then giving up on meaningful goals when they fail to yield that render.

Misbelief ii: It's Pointless to Do Stuff Nobody Ever Knows About.

"If a tree falls in the wood and nobody is effectually to hear it, did information technology make a audio?"

This riddle has been posed past scientists and philosophers for hundreds of years. Some say yeah, the tree made a sound, because sound is a measurement of compression waves. In that location was a sound but no subject to perceive information technology. Others say no, because audio is not the same every bit compression waves — sound is the interpretation of waves that occurs in the human ear and brain.

How does this relate to feeling like life is pointless?

Some people experience that it'south pointless to practise stuff that nobody ever knows nigh. Like the tree that falls in the woods with no observer, they feel that their personal projects and dreams accept to be verified by other people before condign truly "real."

For case, an aspiring writer has written a few manuscripts. They were all rejected but were sent back with encouraging notes and suggestions for improvement. She'south not a bad writer — she'due south an near-at that place writer who needs a chip more improvement. Only her spirits are flagging, and she gives up besides before long. Why write if no 1 will ever run into information technology? In that location'southward just no indicate.

Here is her misbelief: only the cease product counts. Only what shines in the center of the public has significant. A few thousand years ago, Aristotle figured this out. He suggested that a a purpose-filled life is not a product — it's being engaged in the process.

So don't let yourself trip upwardly on those long, dreary days in the forest when nobody can hear or encounter your efforts. Instead, believe that everything you're doing is part of the larger process.

Misbelief iii: It'south Pointless to Practice Stuff Nobody Else Cares About.

There are a lot of reasons why you might be feeling like life is pointless. It could be a recently ended relationship, losing your job, or feeling overwhelmed well-nigh where life is heading. Whatever the example, yous've dutifully made a listing of all the things that interest you. You've thought upwardly anything you could possibly imagine being passionate most.

And so, taking a long expect at your list, you rip it to shreds. Nobody cares well-nigh this stuff! Y'all tell yourself harshly.

But look await waaaaait for a infinitesimal. Hold the horses!

How practise you know nobody cares about it? And why would you want to only exercise things that are popular and well-accepted?

Let's become a bit of communication from someone who believes in following unconventional paths. JP Sears is one of the more anarchistic people I've seen on YouTube. He has a satire channel that is often quite funny and sometimes a flake…weird! Only I've always enjoyed satire (it takes a lot more endeavor than slapstick humor). Since I'one thousand also a fan of TED talks, I couldn't resist watching JP's TEDx talk about — you guessed information technology! — weirdness.

He talks most how we tend to react to our own idiosyncrasies and "weirdness" every bit if information technology's a dangerous liability. This is due to a securely-rooted desire for connection and fright of invalidation. He says,

"We constipate the expression of our weirdness and therefore the expression of our true selves because we're all approving addicts."

JP Sears

Anyone who can employ the word "constipate" as a verb without giggling is living proof that it's possible to exist confident in your weirdness.

And approximate what — people like that authenticity!

JP reminds u.s.a. that our uncensored weirdness is what allows u.s. to interface authentically with other people rather than delivering a advisedly curated (i.due east. simulated) version of ourselves. So if you're telling yourself that it's pointless to practise things that nobody cares almost, you're missing out on an expression of your most authentic self.

At the cease of the day, you'll be hard pressed to notice something that nobody cares virtually. Personally, I think information technology's weird to make videos well-nigh dropping mentos into Coke bottles, and I retrieve it's weird to be excited about cryptography, just that hasn't stopped people from becoming rich and famous by pursuing these interests.

Misbelief four: It'south Terrible to Have Dubiety Near My Purpose in Life.

Sometimes I wonder if I'g the only developed who still has atmosphere tantrums.

Mine are usually private, of course — non in the alley of the supermarket — only I'd be difficult-pressed to call it anything other than a temper-tantrum. Sometimes, circumstances are but then terrible that I have to bang on a pillow or two, have a good weep, and permit out all the pent-upwards stress of living in a terribly unjust world.

Then, I read that wonderfully helpful aforementioned book and was told that I'm not allowed to employ the word "terrible" except in very DIRE situations.

Apparently, since thoughts and words become feelings, in misbelief therapy the Golden Rule is to never telephone call annihilation "terrible" unless it really is.

Drs. Backus and Chapain wrote,

"Discomfort never killed anyone, only our misbeliefs tell us that discomfort is terrible, awful, wretched, horrible, when in fact, although not a lot of fun, it can be endurable."

William Backus and Marie Chapain, Telling Yourself the Truth

They ask readers to gauge more truly by creating a numerical scale of truthful terribleness, substituting more than appropriate adjectives where necessary. I've listed an instance below:

• 

Ane of the things that bothers me most in life is when I feel uncertain well-nigh my purpose.

It'southward terrible to have incertitude nigh my purpose in life, correct?

Well, maybe not. Maybe I make myself experience terrible about information technology past giving myself permission to characterization the situation as "terrible." Feeling a bit aimless and adrift is uncomfortable indeed, but it's not equally bad equally losing my married man or having my eye gouged out.

Endeavor it. Reframe your aimless situation as "uncomfortable" rather than "terrible." Say out loud, "this situation is really uncomfortable, simply I can endure it." Doesn't it experience similar you're in so much more than control?

Past taking care how we label our globe, we avoid serious misbeliefs that will make us feel like life is pointless.

Misbelief 5: There'south One Unmarried Purpose for My Life, and Everything Hinges on Me Finding It.

Finding your purpose in life is kind of similar getting married.

Remember how the old Disney princess movies gave off this vibe similar at that place's simply one Mr. Right in the entire kingdom? And don't yous dare sell out to anything brusque of getting your prince! Even though most of u.s.a. left Disney backside a long fourth dimension ago (apologies to any grown-up Disney fans) we look for Mr. Right with the assumption that there's just ONE out there. You swipe through thousands of Mr. Wrongs before you discover the one yous call back might exist Mr. Right.

So you autumn in love and spend $30,000 to get married. You lot're thrilled considering you think you found the ONE.

A few months subsequently the honeymoon, though, you all of a sudden observe that Mr. Right has bad morning jiff and he sometimes lets out an air beige at the breakfast tabular array. He forgets to take out the trash and leaves socks on the flooring. Moreover, he's just plainly abrasive when he'due south in a bad mood!

Maybe you were wrong. Maybe he wasn't Mr. Right afterward all, and the Real Mr. Correct is nevertheless out there, waiting for his soulmate princess. (You can encounter where I'yard going with this metaphor for life purpose, right?)

A few years afterwards, you get a divorce and start looking for THE Mr. Right that y'all're sure is out there. The one who will be perfect and brand life feel complete.

It sounds dumb, but this is how many of usa view our search for purpose. As if at that place is One huge destiny-ordained task for u.s. to practice for our entire lives, and nothing else counts. Nosotros become annoyed with the time we waste helping gramps with his thousand work or the time nosotros waste getting good grades in schoolhouse. We fail to value the piddling acts of kindness and little duties that build a stiff character, because nosotros are constantly in search of that One heroic destiny that we imagine is our *life purpose.*

I'm convinced that there'south actually a wide range of people you tin can have a successful marriage with if yous're willing to piece of work difficult at the relationship. Some would probably exist more fulfilling than others, just I don't believe in the "I" theory. I've been married for almost 7 years now, through life's ups and downs, and this mindset has prevented me from ever feeling like I might have gotten the wrong ane.* I'm positive I got 1 from the top 0.5% of most uniform guys in the world, and then the one I got is the 1 I'one thousand keeping.

He's the correct i because I chose him. Menstruation. (Plus I'm still in love, and so that'southward helpful.) ❤️

Likewise, your life purpose is non some etherial destiny "out there" waiting for heroic discovery. You do Non need to alter your mind a dozen times, waiting for the aha moment. You lot are living purposefully now, today, living out your purpose in humble little ways every moment. Don't fall for the misbelief that there's only one purpose in your life — it's guaranteed to make you feel like your electric current (probably monotonous) life is pointless.

After a certain corporeality of soul searching, life experience, and introspection, there's a point where nosotros have to realize that what we're doing now is already more than meaningful.

*Note: please do not accept my metaphor for more than it's worth. If you're married to an calumniating person, I don't mean for you to feel like you have to work harder at it. Likewise, if you're feeling unfulfilled most being a dope pusher or a human trafficker, please annotation that there ARE legitimate moments to feel similar this isn't what y'all're meant to do.

Misbelief half-dozen: Everything in Life Has a Purpose

Spoiler alert: this misbelief is followed by the corollary, "nothing in life has a purpose."

The thought that everything in life has a purpose is oftentimes encountered in overly spiritualized contexts. When bad things happen, it is karma. When your child dies an disturbing death, it was God'southward volition. A random deed of kindness must take been related to your horoscope. And and then on…

Just there are a lot of details in your grand life narrative that are relatively meaningless.

The color car you buy.

The size shoe you wear.

Whether you sleep on your back or on your side.

People tin literally make themselves insane past trying to notice reasons for the things that happen to them. Why are little girls raped? Why are niggling boys browbeaten by alcoholic dads? Why exercise innocent babies die?

I am a person of faith. I think I accept fractional and express answers to these questions. Simply I don't take complete answers that tin can adequately explain the mysteries of depravity and tragedy. And I'thousand not so spiritual as to believe that everything that happens has a purpose that nosotros are meant to figure out.

I one time read a truthful story of a woman whose hubby died. Well-meaning friends told her that God had a purpose. She spent agonizing amounts of time wracking her mind and trying to figure out the purpose for her loss. Had she done something wrong to deserve it? Was there something lacking in her life that demanded purging and growth? At the end of the day, she merely found relief in giving upward the misbelief that everything happens for a reason. Some things don't happen for a reason. Some things just happen, and nosotros are caught in the crossfire of an imperfect planet, in the ongoing conflict betwixt proficient and evil.

This woman found it freeing to admit that while many things in life accept significant, non everything does. It's ok to admit that some things happen without any reason. If you staunchly campaign for the position that everything in life happens for a reason, at some betoken you're guaranteed to outset feeling pretty awful.

Misbelief 7: Cipher in Life Has a Purpose

Misbelief 8 stated that everything has a purpose. The contrary is also an unhelpful misbelief: cipher has a purpose.

If the onetime misbelief is common amidst overly spiritual groups, this 1 is especially near and honey to nihilists and those with a fair chip of existential malaise.

The narrative commonly goes something like this:

• There's no pregnant in life.
• You lot can create "meaning" for yourself, but information technology would only exist a mask over an absurdly meaningless life.
• The truly strong, brave people don't need this mask — they can look life straight in the eyes and admit information technology's meaningless.
• The weak people need the mask — they create a subjective sense of meaning or else drown in despair.

Of all misbeliefs guaranteed to make you experience like your life is pointless, this is probably the most severe. Albert Camus, who coined the term "absurdism," wrestled with the issue of whether suicide is a legitimate response to an overwhelmingly cool and purposeless life.

Such nihilism ignores the multitude of signs all around us pointing to the purposeful nature of life. All things in the natural earth — all things except for the selfish, egotistical heart of human — exist to give. All animals, insects, air molecules, leaves, corals, and ocean currents give of themselves in mutual interdependence. They each take, merely they take simply to requite. Without the honeybee, the polar deport, and the sea turtle, vast ecosystems stammer and decline irreparably.

Somehow, we have lost a sense of connexion with the bigger context. Viewing ourselves as separate from family structures, urban ecosystems, and ecology connections will certainly allow us to buy into the misbelief that nothing in life has meaning.

Misbelief eight: I'm Ok with Beingness a Loner.

Research shows that the cardinal indicator for a happy, meaningful life is social connections. (Sad to disappoint the introverts!) In one study, undergrads were surveyed for levels of well-being. They so filtered out the elevation 10% and the bottom 10% and compared lifestyle and history for each subject.

They discovered that the meridian 10% were not more or less religious. They did not exercise more. They did non take more than positive life events.

But they had richer social connections.

Having a series of negative social encounters — or even heartbreaks — tin lead one to declare that he or she is ok with being a loner. But scientific discipline doesn't support this claim. Calling yourself a loner is an hating rough-and-tumble for pain, and can hold you back from experiencing a real purposeful sense of well-beingness.

If you often feel like life is pointless, and at the same fourth dimension y'all consider yourself a lone wolf, this might exist the first misbelief you lot'll want to boot to the adjourn.

Decision

I've never met you, just I'm convinced that your life is not pointless.

You are fashion likewise valuable to this planet to allow yourself to fall for any of these misbeliefs that will make y'all cheapen yourself to that indicate. Your life is of import. Weeding out these dissentious misbeliefs will help you to truly believe what I believe: that your life matters.

Drib me a line in the comments to let me know which misbelief yous struggle with the most (hint: mine would be #four and #five). ☝?

Best wishes on the journey!

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Source: https://scrupulosity.com/8-misbeliefs-to-feel-pointless/

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